1- Watching your cat play in a paper bag while the $60 worth of hypoallergenic, organic cat-nip kitty toys you just bought sits untouched in the corner.
2- Changing the words of hit songs to be about your cat and then serenading them is so common to you that you've started doing it even when your cat isn't around.
3- It took three hours of tears, scratches, and broken trust to get your cat into the cat carrier to go to the vet, but every morning the next week you wake up to find him sleeping in it.
4- Sitting on the floor to read because your cat got to the comfy chair first.
5- Your cat gets the free-range-grass-fed-gluten-free-hormone-free-wild-organic cat food. Your kids get Spam.
6- Facetiming your cat when you're out of town.
7- People say it's your imagination, but you KNOW your cat is acting cold because he still hasn't forgiven you for stepping on his tail last week.
7- People say it's your imagination, but you KNOW your cat is acting cold because he still hasn't forgiven you for stepping on his tail last week.
8- The patronizing looks you get whenever you talk to your cat then answer yourself back in a different voice (that everyone now recognizes as "your cat's voice").
9- Hearing a cat screech outside at 3am and running out in your underwear willing to fight every raccoon on the planet.
10- The walk of shame past your cat's judging eyes in the hall after doing something naughty in the bedroom.
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Painting "Woman with a Cat" by Pierre-August Renoir c. 1875 property of The National Gallery of Art
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